I have been thinking about this a lot lately. Ever since I recently began praying everyday, I have been praying for more patience. Or rather to learn how to be more patient...whichever way I say it doesn't quite sound right, but you get the jist of it.
So this is what happened...
Things haven't been running very smooth here. Issues with all sorts of things, money, John's happiness at his job, running children to activites, getting the older children to pitch in around the house more, my feet (a whole other post in itself), etc....So I go to Church one Sunday, feeling completely weighed down by it all and like I really didn't have time to spend three hours at Church, and feeling like Praying just wasn't working for me, and poor me...etc. Then in the third hour, Relief Society (it is a time when just the women meet for a lesson and discussion), a lesson was taught about patience. WHOA! "Did she just say her lesson was on patience?" this was my first thought. And seriously, I don't know how it happens, but everytime I attend Church feeling broken down and blah, someone gives a talk, or a testimony, or just adds to the discussion, the one thing that is on my mind at the time. I know it sounds nutty, but I'm telling you, this is how I know this Church it True and that Heavenly Father is listening and responding, just not always how I think He will....Anyways, back to my revelations on patience. So the wonderful woman who is teaching the class (forgive me, I cannot for the life of me remember her name), is really talking about being patient in our Faith and is discussing how the Lord is patient with us...At some point I'm sure I became preoccupied with Finn, or was distracted...I really mostly try to listen and take it all in, but I also have an 8 month old baby and my 4 year old running around, usually in the hallway, so I almost always miss part of the talk.
After the lesson, I go home and I don't think about it much again. I know I'm not a good example, but I am honest.
A month later, I am driving to Ohio to visit my Mom. This had been a particularly awful day. I won't go in to detail, but by awful, I mean really bad, let's just say I started the morning sobbing at 7am. But as I was driving through some rural part of the highway, I had a revelation! PATIENCE...oh my goodness! This is my lesson, this is what I have been praying about. This is how Heavenly Father is teaching me. It was like a ton of bricks. I am learning how to be patient everyday. I think my lesson, was more focused on my selfishness and haste, in wanting what I want, when I want it (sounds good in theory.) But, I think that struggling a little in life and having the patience to just make it through everyday is MY lesson. He is teaching me and helping me and making me stronger. CRAZY! This is all so new and strange, some may say just coincidence, but I have to belief it is Divine Intervention.
So, I know that there a lot of my friends who don't have the same beliefs and will definitely think I have lost my mind (there are still times I wonder too), but I am serious about this. I have never been a religious person, nor have I ever been someone to go to Church, especially for three hours, but this is something I cannot deny. And I know you will all still love me as much as I love all of you. I just wanted to share my story because it happened a while ago and I still can't stop thinking about how real it was or I should say, how obvious it was, after all.
To all my friends from Church that inspire me, encourage me to attend, and help me to learn...Thank you!
